Well, here we are! Looks like the Germany blog fell through (I somehow managed to forget ALL our log-in info, plus, we don't really need that anymore), so here's my brand spankin' new pregnancy blog! I hate writing hand-written notes but figured I should have some sort of journal for our child to read when they're ready, so here it is. I'll just update here about doctor's visits, symptoms, cravings, ultrasound pics, and all the other joys of being pregnant. I'm going to start this first post with our pregnancy story and everything leading up until today. I'll start posting at 15 weeks (which will be in one day), and go from there. I'm going to warn you all now, there may be some TMI in here (but I know family is reading so I'll try to keep that on the dl), and some other things that people may not necessarily want to hear, so read at your own risk. So here goes...
Jason and I had been married for, oh, a month. We needed to go to the hospital on post to have my EFMP screening done to head to Germany. All that is, is basically a checklist to make sure I didn't have any serious health issues that the Army wouldn't be able to take care of in Germany. No bigs, but I needed a physical since it had been a year since my last one. Something had felt off all day and I felt like I would be getting my period soon, but nothing was coming. I had cramps, was PMS-ing as usual, but still nothing. I KNEW that something wasn't right since I was usually always on track. I told Jason that we should go buy a test before the physical just to make sure. We were (and still are) living with friends off post and she happened to have an extra test she said I could use. It wasn't a digital, but I took it expecting it to be negative just like every other test I had ever taken. I sat and watched in horror as that pink line slowly but surely appeared. I swear, I sat there for a good 5 minutes just staring at it, trying to make it disappear with my mind. When it didn't, that's when the tears started. Jason and I just sat there, both completely in shock. He handled it a lot better than I did, and I told him we had to go buy a digital, because there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant. So we did, and two digital tests later, I was face to face with two flashing "PREGNANT"s. I think I cried off and on for a few hours. Here we were, newlyweds, supposedly on our way to Germany, no money, and no idea how to raise a child. Needless to say, I was terrified. Jason on the other hand was excited and supportive. I don't know how I would've made it through those first few hours if he was freaking out as much as I was. I called my mom right away and told her, but waited a few days to tell my dad...I wonder why? ;) We waited a few days to tell everyone else, but soon enough, our secret was out.
I wasn't one of those ladies who was blessed with an easy first trimester. Haha, not in the least. I didn't just have morning sickness, I had all day sickness. I couldn't keep any food down, just liquids. And boy was I thirsty. I literally lived off of bagels with cream cheese and apples for the first month and a half. You want to know the grossest thing to throw up? Undigested bagels, with the cream cheese still intact. Talk about blowing chunks. There I go with the TMI. Sorry. My poor husband didn't know what to do with me. He would hold my hair back while I puked every night, but still felt helpless. He would try to cater to my cravings, but by the time he'd get back from the grocery store with my lasagna that I had wanted, that craving was gone and the thought of lasagna repulsed me. I had the WORST food aversions too. Jason had made a plate of enchiladas the morning I found out I was pregnant (yes, my husband eats Mexican for breakfast), and I remember looking at them and instantly becoming nauseous. A sign of things to come? Rice and Mexican food grossed me out to no end, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. It was weird.
Enough with the food, I'm getting sick just writing about it. Let's talk about my mood swings. Boy, those were a blast. I cried. A lot. I mean, every single day. I would think about how much our lives were going to change and I'd cry. Jeez, it was brutal. I tried to be happy, but just couldn't. I was SO depressed, and felt guilty for being pregnant with a child that we didn't plan for while people tried for 10 years and more without any luck. I felt like a horrible person and the thoughts of being a horrible mom slowly started creeping in. Besides the crying, I was an all around bundle of joy to be around. I'd snap at poor Jason for looking at me the wrong way, felt like a whale (even though I lost weight), and was so anti-social; the only thing I wanted to do was sit in my room and watch movies. We watched a lot of movies those first few months!
About 8 weeks into my pregnancy, I woke up one morning with a mild fever and horrible back pain the started in my lower back and shot all the way up my side, to my ribs. I made Jason take me to the ER where they ended up admitting me to the hospital with a severe UTI that had spread to my kidneys. It was there that we got to see our little chipmunk (another warning, we use a lot of nicknames for our little one, chipmunk and nugget are our favorites. They're not meant to be offensive, but we have odd senses of humor and find them endearing) for the first time. Except he/she wasn't a chipmunk just yet. Moreso a tiny gummi bear in a huge black cave. There it was in black and white. Another human growing inside me, heartbeat and all. I remember Jason standing at my feet looking at the screen practically shouting, "I see it! I see the heartbeat!" with a big smile on his face. It was one of those moments I'll never forget. Two days [of hell] later, they sent me home. I now am at high risk for more UTI's and have to be on medication for the rest of my pregnancy. It's worth it though, I'd take 50 horse pills every day for the rest of my life to keep my little guy or gal healthy.
Another month passed and as my sickness wore down, my spirits rose up. THANK GOD. I finally got my appetite back and started feeling genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like forever. I finally got into the doctor (which is just another mess that I'm not even going to get into, but I'll just say for the record that I hate the hospital on post and would gladly pay out of pocket to feel like a person and not a number-rant over), and had our second ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Let me tell ya, this one's a mover! The ultrasound tech could barely get a decent picture, he/she was too busy doing somersaults, waving, flipping, spinning, everything. Looks like we've got an entertainer on our hands! I never thought I'd be one of those people who post their u/s pics all over FB, but the second I had them, I wanted everyone to see. I remember laying there with that awesome goo all over my stomach watching our baby on the screen and tears rolling down my face. I wanted to lay there all day and just watch him/her. I looked up to see Jason smiling and looking back at me. That did it for me, I was officially a goner.
So that brings us to now. Excited, terrified, nervous, anxious, thrilled, scared, happy, sad, every emotion you can think of. But this is what life has handed us and we're going to do the best that we can. We've decided on names already; Liam McKenzie (McKenzie is my maternal grandmother's maiden name) or Charlotte Ione (Ione is my maternal grandmother's middle name). My grandma passed away before she got the chance to meet her great-grandchild, so we wanted to pay tribute to her. She was an amazing woman and Charlotte or Liam will miss out on having the best great-grandma in the world.
That's pretty much it for now. It's 4:30 am and my pregnant mind wouldn't shut off for the night-yet another joy. I'm going to try and update this each week and be sure to post my bump, but I forget easily, so forgive me in advance if I slack. Before I go, I wanted to thank all of our incredibly supportive family and friends. Without you guys, I would've been the biggest mess ever. You pulled me through those trying first months and have been so incredibly supportive to both Jason and I. We are so blessed and lucky to have people like you in our lives. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Jason and I had been married for, oh, a month. We needed to go to the hospital on post to have my EFMP screening done to head to Germany. All that is, is basically a checklist to make sure I didn't have any serious health issues that the Army wouldn't be able to take care of in Germany. No bigs, but I needed a physical since it had been a year since my last one. Something had felt off all day and I felt like I would be getting my period soon, but nothing was coming. I had cramps, was PMS-ing as usual, but still nothing. I KNEW that something wasn't right since I was usually always on track. I told Jason that we should go buy a test before the physical just to make sure. We were (and still are) living with friends off post and she happened to have an extra test she said I could use. It wasn't a digital, but I took it expecting it to be negative just like every other test I had ever taken. I sat and watched in horror as that pink line slowly but surely appeared. I swear, I sat there for a good 5 minutes just staring at it, trying to make it disappear with my mind. When it didn't, that's when the tears started. Jason and I just sat there, both completely in shock. He handled it a lot better than I did, and I told him we had to go buy a digital, because there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant. So we did, and two digital tests later, I was face to face with two flashing "PREGNANT"s. I think I cried off and on for a few hours. Here we were, newlyweds, supposedly on our way to Germany, no money, and no idea how to raise a child. Needless to say, I was terrified. Jason on the other hand was excited and supportive. I don't know how I would've made it through those first few hours if he was freaking out as much as I was. I called my mom right away and told her, but waited a few days to tell my dad...I wonder why? ;) We waited a few days to tell everyone else, but soon enough, our secret was out.
I wasn't one of those ladies who was blessed with an easy first trimester. Haha, not in the least. I didn't just have morning sickness, I had all day sickness. I couldn't keep any food down, just liquids. And boy was I thirsty. I literally lived off of bagels with cream cheese and apples for the first month and a half. You want to know the grossest thing to throw up? Undigested bagels, with the cream cheese still intact. Talk about blowing chunks. There I go with the TMI. Sorry. My poor husband didn't know what to do with me. He would hold my hair back while I puked every night, but still felt helpless. He would try to cater to my cravings, but by the time he'd get back from the grocery store with my lasagna that I had wanted, that craving was gone and the thought of lasagna repulsed me. I had the WORST food aversions too. Jason had made a plate of enchiladas the morning I found out I was pregnant (yes, my husband eats Mexican for breakfast), and I remember looking at them and instantly becoming nauseous. A sign of things to come? Rice and Mexican food grossed me out to no end, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. It was weird.
Enough with the food, I'm getting sick just writing about it. Let's talk about my mood swings. Boy, those were a blast. I cried. A lot. I mean, every single day. I would think about how much our lives were going to change and I'd cry. Jeez, it was brutal. I tried to be happy, but just couldn't. I was SO depressed, and felt guilty for being pregnant with a child that we didn't plan for while people tried for 10 years and more without any luck. I felt like a horrible person and the thoughts of being a horrible mom slowly started creeping in. Besides the crying, I was an all around bundle of joy to be around. I'd snap at poor Jason for looking at me the wrong way, felt like a whale (even though I lost weight), and was so anti-social; the only thing I wanted to do was sit in my room and watch movies. We watched a lot of movies those first few months!
About 8 weeks into my pregnancy, I woke up one morning with a mild fever and horrible back pain the started in my lower back and shot all the way up my side, to my ribs. I made Jason take me to the ER where they ended up admitting me to the hospital with a severe UTI that had spread to my kidneys. It was there that we got to see our little chipmunk (another warning, we use a lot of nicknames for our little one, chipmunk and nugget are our favorites. They're not meant to be offensive, but we have odd senses of humor and find them endearing) for the first time. Except he/she wasn't a chipmunk just yet. Moreso a tiny gummi bear in a huge black cave. There it was in black and white. Another human growing inside me, heartbeat and all. I remember Jason standing at my feet looking at the screen practically shouting, "I see it! I see the heartbeat!" with a big smile on his face. It was one of those moments I'll never forget. Two days [of hell] later, they sent me home. I now am at high risk for more UTI's and have to be on medication for the rest of my pregnancy. It's worth it though, I'd take 50 horse pills every day for the rest of my life to keep my little guy or gal healthy.
Another month passed and as my sickness wore down, my spirits rose up. THANK GOD. I finally got my appetite back and started feeling genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like forever. I finally got into the doctor (which is just another mess that I'm not even going to get into, but I'll just say for the record that I hate the hospital on post and would gladly pay out of pocket to feel like a person and not a number-rant over), and had our second ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Let me tell ya, this one's a mover! The ultrasound tech could barely get a decent picture, he/she was too busy doing somersaults, waving, flipping, spinning, everything. Looks like we've got an entertainer on our hands! I never thought I'd be one of those people who post their u/s pics all over FB, but the second I had them, I wanted everyone to see. I remember laying there with that awesome goo all over my stomach watching our baby on the screen and tears rolling down my face. I wanted to lay there all day and just watch him/her. I looked up to see Jason smiling and looking back at me. That did it for me, I was officially a goner.
So that brings us to now. Excited, terrified, nervous, anxious, thrilled, scared, happy, sad, every emotion you can think of. But this is what life has handed us and we're going to do the best that we can. We've decided on names already; Liam McKenzie (McKenzie is my maternal grandmother's maiden name) or Charlotte Ione (Ione is my maternal grandmother's middle name). My grandma passed away before she got the chance to meet her great-grandchild, so we wanted to pay tribute to her. She was an amazing woman and Charlotte or Liam will miss out on having the best great-grandma in the world.
That's pretty much it for now. It's 4:30 am and my pregnant mind wouldn't shut off for the night-yet another joy. I'm going to try and update this each week and be sure to post my bump, but I forget easily, so forgive me in advance if I slack. Before I go, I wanted to thank all of our incredibly supportive family and friends. Without you guys, I would've been the biggest mess ever. You pulled me through those trying first months and have been so incredibly supportive to both Jason and I. We are so blessed and lucky to have people like you in our lives. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Stupid blog won't let me post photos at the bottom, so they're at the top. This mouse is acting out on me as well (mom and dad, if you're reading this, your mouse needs new batteries) and I need to get dressed and ready to leave for the airport.
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